What's in a word?

What's in a word? To Stephen, a lot. I don't if it is because some of the Africans we encounter here didn't have a full education or if they just don't teach the nuances of some of the words. For example, our house help uses 'must', 'will' and is often very direct - and assertive - with her comments. She tells Stephen that Lexi must eat, that the party will happen (even when she knows nothing about it). She doesn't really put things in a questioning way and I am not sure if maybe is in her vocabulary. Stephen is so tuned into the subtleties that this drives him crazy. He wishes she wouldn't offer her opinion in such a forceful manner - like there is no other option.

How do you explain this to someone? We have tried, but I don't think she understands our subtleties. She can't understand that it is her way of speaking that is the problem, not necessarily what she says.

I find at work that with some people I have to be very explicit. I can't assume that they will do everything the way I would do it - or think to tell me what they have done. So I have to keep following up - and sometimes, I feel like I am questioning how they do their jobs, but I just don't know how else to make sure it is getting done.

I think we are both finding it much harder to live here and fit in than in Europe. Europe was probably more like we are used to - and there were things that we really liked about living there.